Provo MTC: Lead, Kindly Light...

The MTC...what an experience! Being surrounded by thousands of young men and women anxious to get out and preach the Gospel was amazing. But before the MTC, there was the heart breaking moments of "See ya in two years!"

Saying goodbye to the family was pretty tough, especially to my nephews and nieces. I remember dropping off one of my nephews at his school that morning and giving him a final hug. I watched him trod off slowly, his heavy backpack swaying as he moved, head sunk down crying. For anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me, you know exactly what I did...bawled like a baby. Talk about a tear jerker...

A few hours later I was thrown in the mix of the MTC, and I soon found out what my mission was going to be like. All the sadness of saying goodbye was swallowed up in the joy of meeting a group of Elders that has changed my life. I hadn't spent very much time around other active LDS people up to that point in my life. It was an eye opener to have 7 exemplary Elders show me that Mormons aren't as bad as I thought. In fact, they are pretty legit! (Confusing? maybe, but I was inactive most of my life.) My MTC experience was incredible to say the least. The growth in testimony: the friendships forged; the genuine fun had was a springboard propelling me into this awesome mission adventure.

Like I said, I wasn't very active before my mission, so I didn't know many hymns. Luckily, Elder Houston, my missionary companion in the MTC (and later on...we'll get there) is an amazing singer and introduced me to quite a few goodies. One in particular reminds me of the MTC every time I hear it: "Lead, Kindly Light".

"Lead, kindly light amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark and I am far from home, lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene one step enough for me."

This verse describes pretty well how I felt going into the MTC. I didn't know what to expect, and it was so hard for me to finally get there. But I wanted to do what the Lord wanted me to do. I asked for His help, and He got me there. I was finally saying to the Good Shepard, "I'll go where you want me to go..." (I still struggle with wanting to see the distant scene though...haha).

"I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou shouldst lead me on. I loved to choose and see my path; but now, lead thou me on! I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears, pride ruled my will. Remember not past years."

 I've said it many times before: I never wanted to go on a mission growing up. It wasn't a thought for me. I was going to do what I wanted to do, and for a long time I did. I lived a life contrary to the commandments of God, and with that came consequences that were more than I could handle alone. I thank God every day that He opened my eyes and gave me this chance to change. It was in the MTC that I gained a testimony that the only way to true joy and happiness is through Jesus Christ. I'm grateful He 'remember(s) not past years'.

"So long thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on o'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till the night is gone. And with the morn those angel faces smile, which I have loved long since, and lost a while!"

Although the MTC was incredibly fun and uplifting, it was full of challenges as well. I missed my nephews and nieces so much. I had been with them nearly every day of their lives. The thought of not seeing them for two years was difficult to say the least. This verse told me the Lord would help me endure all challenges, including being away from my best friends. He had brought me through hellish torment before, and He would get me through every trial and difficulty till the 'morn' that I will see the 'angel faces' of my nephews and nieces 'smile'. He will continue to help me until I see Him as He is. I know that for those who put their trust in Jesus Christ, and "...keep (His) commandments and endure to the end (they) shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God." (Doc. & Cov. 14:7)

Here is a beautiful version of this classic hymn. Lander, WY: Prayer of the Children is coming soon...stay tuned! 

I Dislike Making Decisions...

Making choices; not a strong point of mine. I tend to procrastinate as long as possible before I come to any conclusion as to what direction I should take. There has been a decision looming in the back of my mind. I kept saying, "I'm a missionary. I can worry about that later." Then a few weeks ago, someone reminded me that I needed to make a decision, and I needed to do it right quick! What is the decision? Where on this earth to I finish up my schooling?!?

If I go to school A, I won't be close to my family. If I go to this school B, I won't be in the exact program I want. If go to school C, I may not get into the graduate program I want. If I go to school....you get it. What to do? Where to go? What to sacrifice? This has been racking my brain, which I haven't liked as I am supposed to be focusing on missionary work. So I had a little heart-to-heart with the Man upstairs. You know what He told me? I need to figure it out myself. Not what I wanted to hear...

My mind went to a scripture found in the Doctrine and Covenants. In section 6, the Lord reveals to us a pattern that we can use to obtain revelation, or divine guidance, from our Father in Heaven. We find the template in verses 7 and 8. 

"you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But...I say unto you, that you must study it out in your own mind;

Study it out in your own head: weigh the options, list pros and cons, play out scenarios, seek counsel from others, the list goes on. Yes, we can pray and ask for help along the way, but God gave us noggins for a reason. We can put our mind to the task and think it out. Then, once we feel we have the correct choice, we can take it to our Father in Heaven in prayer. We can share with Him how we intend to act, and ask if it is the right choice. The scripture tells us the promise that, "if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right."


I know that this pattern works, because I have used it time and time again and experienced it for myself. So where am I going to school? I don't know exactly. After pondering it out in my mind, Heavenly Father helped me to see that I wasn't even to that decision yet. I was able to figure out that I have a lot of options, and that all I need to do for now is apply to the schools I am interested in. Then I can make a more concrete decision when I get home. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father doesn't tell me exactly what I need to do. He allows me to grow by using my own mind (even though I have limited cognitive ability). I know that this same pattern can work for you!

More Than a Mighty Change of Hair...Part 3!!!

I was pretty hesitant to share this part of the story because it is something that I have held very close to my heart. It's gotten me through very difficult times and has pushed me to never return to where I was. I have prayed about it, and feel that it can be helpful to someone. So...

Beautiful St. George, UT

It was a tradition in my family that my siblings wrangle up their spouses and kiddos and head down to St. George, Utah to turkey it up at my parents. I love St. George so much because this is where my spiritual rebirth began to take place.The house was just starting to get packed as we awaited our feast. I was still really sick and not feeling my best. But I had to put on a good show, because it was time to be Uncle Elder Ika.

I have the greatest nephews and nieces anyone could ask for. They are my joy and happiness. Being away from them while serving a mission is definitely in the top three most difficult things I have had to go through. I have always been close to them. They were my first reason that I wanted to change and be better. It's because of the love I had for them, and them for me.

At the end of a very tiring and physically trying day, we set up shop in the living room to watch a movie. I had my little sweet pea (one of my nieces) as well as her two goofy brothers. We popped up some corn and started to watch the movie "Meet the Robinsons". We laughed and had a good time all the way through it. I remember how happy I felt as I listened to the laughs of these little tikes that I love so much. I remember their smiles and the hug that my little sweet pea gave me right before she fell asleep in my arms. The movie was just about to a close when I realized that my two nephews were asleep as well.

I was about to get up and turn the movie off, but a song started to play. I love music, and it didn't sound too bad, so I decided to listen to it. Here are the lyrics:

Let it go,                                                               Let it slide,                                                      All of my regret

Let it roll right off your shoulder                            Let your troubles fall behind you                     Will wash away some how
Don't you know                                                     Let it shine                                                       But I can not forget
The hardest part is over                                        Until you feel it all around you                         The way I feel right now
Let it in,                                                               And I don't mind
Let your clarity define you                                    If it's me you need to turn to
In the end                                                            We'll get by,
We will only just remember how it feels               It's the heart that really matters in the end

The lowest of low...

As I heard the words to this song, I felt something burning within me (nope, not heart burn). I was enveloped in love. I looked around me and saw three little angels, my two nephews and my niece. I felt a greater love for them than ever before. I now know that I was surrounded not only by those visible angels, but also angels unseen. I know my nephews and nieces who hadn't been born yet were there. My Grandparents who passed away years earlier, as well as many others, came to buoy me up.

In that moment, I knew the hardest part was over. I knew that I could put all the negative behind me. It was at that moment that I knew that all of the regret, disappointment, shame, guilt, sorrow, and every other thing that was weighing me down, could be washed away. I didn't understand how, but I knew that I would find out. I prayed and thanked God for my nephews and niece. I prayed and thanked Him for everything. I gave the most sincere prayer of Thanksgiving I have ever given Him.

To happier than I have ever been!

 A few years later and Pow!, here I am. I'm a missionary from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My life was transformed. God changed my life and gave me what I always wanted: true peace and lasting happiness. He continues to do that for me. I know that God can do the same for you. He will help you to overcome any weakness you have. He loves you. Don't take my word for it. Ask God what He can do for you.

Mumford and Sons/Josh Garrels Collabo! (in my blog)

I feel like this little guy sometimes! All feared up!

I've heard it said that we shouldn't take any counsel from our fears. Unfortunately for me, fears and doubts have been running rampant through my mind. So what am I to do? Well, thank the good Lord for music and how it has again helped me to come a little bit closer to overcoming my weaknesses.

The song "Children of the Earth" by Josh Garrels is about becoming like a child again. It has been ringing so true to me. In the song is the line, "Make my mind free from fears, you know I can't do it on my own." This has helped me to remember the absolute necessity of prayer in overcoming our fears. I love the statement the Lord makes in the Doctrine and Covenants. In section 6 verse 36 where He tells us to, "Look unto (Him) in every thought. Doubt not, fear not." It's so simple, yet so powerful. If we will remember the Lord in all our doings, and turn to Him at every moment of weakness, doubt and fear will begin to disappear. This thought reminds me of another song by Mumford and Sons.


The chorus pierces my soul and reminds me of the love of Christ that is available to me, if I will allow it to sink in. It says:

"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see, what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."

Check out Mormon.org then!

I know my hair is pretty awesome, but to have flowers in it would be a little weird. I think you get the point though. When we are in the midst of trials, trials which can bring doubts and fears, we can take courage in knowing that the trial will someday end. There will be a better day, if we turn to Christ. We may wish the end to get here sooner than later, but it will come. We can look unto Christ in every thought, let His love mend the heart, and dismiss all fears.

Looking Beyond the Blue

I love the power that good wholesome music has to assist me in introspection and conveying my feelings, because it's a fact: I seriously lack effective communication skills. Here's some lyrics of a song that's been helping me out lately. It's called 'Beyond the Blue' by Josh Garrels.

And wisdom will honor everyone who will learn
To listen, to love, and to pray and discern  

We all go through times of trial. I for one bring most, if not all of my trials upon myself. But we can always learn from the opposition in our lives. There is something to be gained with each difficulty we face. If we are prayerful and open to God's understanding, He will give it to us. We will learn and grow.

And to do the right thing even when it burns
And to live in the light through treacherous turns 

 Doing the right thing, even when it burns. Who wants that?!? This could apply to so much, but for me, this has been speaking of forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness from Heavenly Father and from those I have wronged. But also imparting forgiveness to those who have hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally. Fortunately, the Lord has helped me to truly forgive all that have hurt me. It's not to just do the right thing on occasion though, but to turn to Jesus Christ and His example with every treacherous turn we face.

A man is weak, but the spirit yearns
To keep on course from the bow to the stearn
And throw overboard every selfish concern
That tries to work for what can’t be earned 

Yes, I am a very weak man. My weaknesses continue to be more and more apparent with each passing day. They strive to distract me and get me off course. I am amazed at how quickly God comes in, shows me my weaknesses, helps me to see the mistakes I have made, the problems I have caused, and gives me the chance to repent. He helps me to throw away every selfish, and self-centered thought. He helps me to get my desires in line, and gets me on track.

Sometimes the only way to return is to go,
Where the winds will take you 

I get myself in some pretty sticky predicaments. I distance myself from God with each mistake I make. Then, I try to fix things the way I want them to be fixed, not the way God has presented. The only way to get back closer to God is to submit to His power. It's to submit to His love. It's to go wherever He will take me and to do whatever He asks me to do, no matter how difficult it may be.

Jesus Christ, the Hope beyond the blue

And to let go, of all, you cannot hold onto
For the hope, beyond,the blue

 

In any situation we find ourselves in, we have the option to get better, or drag things out. We can analyze and dwell on things that have hurt. We can rationalize our behavior and justify our sins. On the other hand, we can honor wisdom, and learn. We do this by choosing the path of repentance, forgiveness, and hope for a brighter day. We can seek forgiveness from God, we can seek forgiveness from those we have harmed, and we can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made. We can let go of the damage of the past, and move on. We can move closer to the Son, who is beckoning us from beyond the blue.

Apostasy? Dispensations? What?...

God reveals His Gospel through Prophets. He has done this since the beginning of time. We read about it in the Bible. Did God love those people more than He loves who live in the modern day?




To learn more about truth restored visit MORMON.ORG

Thank You Kindly Jesus!

I've been a bum lately. Why? Because I have been so ungrateful. I've been ungrateful to my family for the support they give me. I've been ungrateful to my fellow missionaries for the great friends they are. I've been ungrateful for the trials that I have been going through, which I know will make me stronger. I've been ungrateful to the Lord for all the blessings He gives me. I'm so pumped to repent!!! I'm going to start on my repentance right now by saying that I am grateful for my family, friends, and especially to the Lord for all that He has given me. Check out this video to see what random people on the streets of New York are grateful for.

 

What are you thankful for?

Mormon.org/family

How Can a Family Find Peace?

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” remains “a clarion call to protect and strengthen families,”-Elder M. Russel Ballard



Learn more of how the Restored Gospel can bless your family here.

Plagiarism Is My Friend

(FYI:I've copied and pasted this from lds.org)

In keeping with the long-established pattern of the Lord, several key events had to occur for His Church to be restored:

The first occurred in 1820, when, through the First Vision, the heavens were opened and Joseph Smith learned the true nature of God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, and received instruction from Them.

Second was the coming forth of the Book of Mormon, providing a second witness of the divinity of Jesus Christ and confirming that Joseph Smith was a prophet.

Finally, the restoration of the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood provided the authority to administer the ordinances necessary for salvation.

“We declare to the world that the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth.”

—Elder L. Tom Perry

Am I crazy, or just stupid?

I'm a little bit of both! But that's an entirely different topic. If you asked me five years ago if I thought that Joseph Smith was a Prophet, I would have told you he was false. I fought against the church that he established bitterly, and would have no part in it. Today, I declare that Joseph Smith is indeed a Prophet of God. Through him, Christ restored His church, and the complete availability of His Gospel to the Earth. What changed my mind? The Book of Mormon.

He's Short. He's Brown. He's Wicked Sweet! He's........ My Dad!

I have the coolest Dad in the world. I have to admit it. He's pretty swell. He was born in the Kingdom of Tonga and moved to the United States during High School. That's just one of the cool things about him. My Dad is the humblest person I know. He is incredible! He's not one to brag about his accomplishments, so I will...

 He began his career in law enforcement as a prison guard at the Utah State Prison. His abilities and talents helped him move up in the ranks quickly and was a member of the K-9 unit. He spent several years on the special weapons and tactics (S.W.A.T.) team as well. Much of his career has been spent as part of various task force's and units in the Salt Lake area. He even did a stint for a certain federal agency. He is now a probation officer and sitting behind a desk (in an office which is half the size of my moms. Haha, had to throw that in there. They work at the same place.)

This is just a few of  the cool things that he has been a part of, but there's much more to my Pops. Boy does he know how to cook. Best chop suey ever. He is so buff! The man has mammoth calf muscles that put mine to shame. He is the greatest example of repentance, forgiveness, love, charity, and patience that I know (besides my Mom of course). There is no one in this world that loves his children, and especially his grandchildren more than my Dad.

He has been patient with me throughout my life, and has continually shared his testimony of the restored Gospel. He watched me struggle and pushed me along in life, and would continually be a support to me, regardless of the choices I made. He was there for me in my lowest of lows. He never gave up on me. He now rejoices that I have a testimony of the Restored Gospel and that I am serving a mission to share the things I know to be true.

Heavenly Father has really blessed me. He gave me a Dad here on this earth that would do many of the same things that He himself would do if He were here. Just like my mortal father, my Heavenly Father has been patient with me. He watches me struggle, and pushes me along. He is my constant support. He is here for me in my lowest of lows, and He rejoices with me in my highest of highs. I know that He lives and that He loves me. He loves you too. I pray that I can be like my Dad, who is so much like my Heavenly Father. Happy Father's day!

Here's a little more

Love one another, even the smelly guy at the computer lab

The Heavens have blessed us all. Isn't it marvelous?

So, I've been here in marvelous Missoula for a couple three days now, and I have to tell ya, it's a great place to serve. The city is nestled snugly right up against beautiful green laden mountains with a river running through it (as you can see above). The streets are crazy with Subaru's zooming by in every direction. All the streets are laced with big leafy trees that just put a smile on my face. There are hippies everywhere, and we all know that I love hippies. What more could a guy ask for?

Well, right now, I could ask for a different computer at the library. One thing about some of these hippies is an adverse reaction to cleanliness. The stench that is wafting through the air is a bit icky. In fact, it stings the nostrils. But you know what? I still love the guy. I would give him a big ol' hug right now if it wasn't so weird. I would tell him that Jesus is his friend and that He loves him too (which is sometimes pretty weird to people too). Christ didn't care about people's money, intelligence, how many friends they had, or even if they smelled noxious. He loved everyone and has commanded each of us to love our brothers and sis' all around us. Really, if you look at it closely, He loves me, so He has to love everyone. Right? So get out there and be kind, and remember to love everyone around you. Wait! Real quick, would you rather be trapped in a room--- with three hippies for a week, or me for a week?

Confuzzled & Don't Know What To Do? Well.......

What do I do?

Where do I run?

Why am I fearful?

Is this the one?

Why would He lead me here?

Where do I turn?

What is the truth,

For which I yearn?

Who has the answer?

He, only one.

But can I trust Him?

Follow His Son?

 He will answer.

He does care.

How can I know it?

One simple prayer.



 

"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.''-Moroni 10:4-5

My Mom is cooler than your Mom!

Mom with her youngest grandchild

"The holiest words my tongue can frame,

The noblest thoughts my soul can claim,

Unworthy are to praise the name

More precious than all other.

An infant, when her love first came,

A man, I find it still the same,

Reverently I breathe her name,

The blessed name of mother"
By George Griffith Fether

Don't try and compare, it just doesn't work out. We could argue about this all the day long. My Mom is the best. That's a fact. How do I know this to be true? How have I come to this conclusion? I could tell you but it's science so you wouldn't understand. Haha! OK, OK. I'm just kidding. I know there are a lot of great Mothers out there. My life has been greatly influenced not only by my own Mother but myriads of others. To all you wonderful women I say Grazie mille! But to my beautiful Mother, what can I say? Words cannot express the love I have for her. I look at her and see a woman who has had so much opposition in her life, yet she has continued to push forward and overcome. What is my Mom to me? She is diligence. She is love. She is patience. She is charity. She is kindness. She is so funny. She is goodness. She is all that and so much more. I love you Mom. Thank you for it all. Thank you for holding my hand leading me to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for being patient with me as I put you through hell before (and probably still after) I received my testimony that the Restoration is true. I miss our car rides with good vibes and talking about life. Tomorrow I get to skype home, and it's going to be great to see and talk to you. I love ya Mom! Your the best!