More Than a Mighty Change of Hair...Part Two!!!

I felt like this little truck! Crushed!

Day two, three, four, five etc. were so lame for me after that incredible experience that fateful November 14. What in the world could happen you might ask? The anguish and pain I described in that last post was spiritual. Then I got hit with something I didn't really expect. I honestly thought that all of my problems would be over from the "you'll be OK" feeling I got after I had prayed. But pow!!! God saw to it that I would be humbled even more. Physically, I was crushed! I got sicker than I have ever been in my life. I started to experience physical pain that nearly destroyed me. I had experienced my spiritual rock bottom, but then I was blessed (yes, it was a blessing) with the opportunity to hit a physical rock bottom as well.

To summarize how I felt at this point in my journey, let's go to the Book of Moses in the Pearl of Great Price. In  the opening chapter, Moses describes exactly how I felt in verses 9-10.

"... and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth. And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing..."

I felt that I had been left to myself spiritually through my bad choices, but that I now needed to be left to myself as much as I could take. I was left unto myself, and all my physical strength left me. I felt near to death, and it scared me. I continued to pray with greater fervor than ever before. I would spend hours on end praying and pleading in my heart. It was so difficult to get through, but eventually I started to feel better.

Not an actual pic of me...but you get it!

This event humbled me so much, that I was becoming increasingly aware of the Spirit of God wanting to communicate with me. I found in those humble days that I was completely incapable of saving myself. This led to one of the most incredible experiences of my life; a night when I was literally surrounded by angels.

Tune in soon to read the end of this series. I promise, it's good. In the meantime, what blessings do we receive from humility?

More Than a Mighty Change of Hair...

So I'm not going to be as goofy as I usually am on this one...well, I probably still will be. Oh! The music references will come later... This week is a bit of a special one to me. I consider it my own personal holy week; a week of remembrance. It was four years ago this week that I truly started on a journey that has changed every aspect of my life for the better. It's going to take a few posts to get this all out, but let's start with day one of the rest of my life...

Look up "idiot" in the dictionary and you'll see this picture.

Go back with me to the night of  November 14, 2007. Yep, that's me in the pic alright. What a dufus I was! To summarize a really long story, let's tell you where I was in life on that day. For one, I was at rock bottom. It was truly the lowest of the low. Miserable doesn't even begin to express the depths of my sadness. I was living a life that wasn't in line with God's teachings, and I was suffering the consequences. My life came crashing down on me, and the weight was almost more than I could bear. I felt a lot like how the Prophet Alma from the Book of Mormon did before his conversion took place. Here is what he says, "...I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins. Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments...yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror." (Alma 36:12-14)

Sounds pretty terrible right? Well it was. I will never forget that night and the way I felt (and I am so grateful I can't forget it!). It was in the quiet of that night, in my moment of greatest distress and humility, that I finally got down onto my knees and offered the first sincere prayer of my life. I pleaded that I would be delivered from the hell that I had gotten myself into. I petitioned God that He would lift the weight of my sins and give me some degree of happiness. I asked forgiveness for the hurt I had caused my family and friends. I remember at the end of the prayer, I screamed out, "I'll give up everything! Please take this away from me!"

After that prayer, I felt something within me telling me that everything was going to be OK. I didn't realize it then, but I had truly felt the power that earnest, sincere prayer has. I felt that I would get better, but it sure as shootin' didn't happen immediately like I wanted it too! The next few days were lame sauce...

Come back again soon to find out what happened next. In the mean time, ponder this question: What blessings have you received through adversity?

What did Bob Marley and Mormons have in common?

Probably more than you would think! I love reggae music, and although Bob Marley isn't my most favorite reggae artist, one of his classics has been on my mind lately. It's the song, "Give thanks and praises". In contains the lines, 

"Glory to Jah, the Prophet is come (through all these ages);
Glory to Jah, the Prophet has come (through these stages)."

For your information, Jah is the shortened Rastafarian (Bob Marley's religion for a large portion of his life) way of saying YHWH or Jehovah. Bob Marley believed in a living prophet, and he sang his beliefs beautifully. That simple statement has summed up how I have been feeling in preparation for this weekend. What is this weekend you may ask? It is the weekend of General Conference! In this conference, we have the opportunity to come and listen to a prophets voice! What a grand thought!

We have the supernal blessing of being able to hear the words of a living Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. He will testify of Jesus Christ and will give us the guidance and direction that our Heavenly Father wishes us to have. I know this from personal experience.

About two years ago, I was wondering around a bit. I was very indecisive of what I wanted/needed/should do. I had the choices before me: 

      A: Go on a mission

      B: Stay home, finish school, get married, have kids

Thomas S. Monson, Prophet of the Lord Jesus Christ

At the time, I had a lady friend, and that made me start to think more about marriage. I wanted to stay home and be with my family. I wanted to do the second one, but I felt uneasy about it all. It was getting close to decision time, and I prayed my heart out. I pretty much told Heavenly Father that "B" was the way I was going. A week later was general conference, and in the back of my mind was the question, "What should I do?". I started to watch conference with the question still bouncing around in my mind. President Monson got up to speak first, and lo' and behold, 2 minutes into it he spoke about missionaries. The Spirit confirmed to me that staying home wasn't an option. I was to get out on a mission, quick! 

I followed what I knew to be right, and it's the best choice I ever made. It doesn't matter who you are, or what kind of opposition you face. You can take whatever challenges, issues, questions, or problems you have to Heavenly Father in prayer, and I promise you that you can receive the help you need from something that will be said in General Conference. Put it to the test and let your life be blessed! Glory to God, the Prophet has come!

To watch General Conference, click here.

Mumford and Sons/Josh Garrels Collabo! (in my blog)

I feel like this little guy sometimes! All feared up!

I've heard it said that we shouldn't take any counsel from our fears. Unfortunately for me, fears and doubts have been running rampant through my mind. So what am I to do? Well, thank the good Lord for music and how it has again helped me to come a little bit closer to overcoming my weaknesses.

The song "Children of the Earth" by Josh Garrels is about becoming like a child again. It has been ringing so true to me. In the song is the line, "Make my mind free from fears, you know I can't do it on my own." This has helped me to remember the absolute necessity of prayer in overcoming our fears. I love the statement the Lord makes in the Doctrine and Covenants. In section 6 verse 36 where He tells us to, "Look unto (Him) in every thought. Doubt not, fear not." It's so simple, yet so powerful. If we will remember the Lord in all our doings, and turn to Him at every moment of weakness, doubt and fear will begin to disappear. This thought reminds me of another song by Mumford and Sons.


The chorus pierces my soul and reminds me of the love of Christ that is available to me, if I will allow it to sink in. It says:

"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see, what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."

Check out Mormon.org then!

I know my hair is pretty awesome, but to have flowers in it would be a little weird. I think you get the point though. When we are in the midst of trials, trials which can bring doubts and fears, we can take courage in knowing that the trial will someday end. There will be a better day, if we turn to Christ. We may wish the end to get here sooner than later, but it will come. We can look unto Christ in every thought, let His love mend the heart, and dismiss all fears.

Sooner or Later, God'll Cut You Down!

"You can run on for a long time, run on for a long time, run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down"~ Johnny Cash

It's a lesson that we all need to learn. Hopefully you can learn this one by watching others. But for me, the Lord has repeatedly retaught me this throughout my life (I hope it sinks in this time!). But what is the lesson?

Running on for a long time? Well, to me it means trying to go about life and do things my way, instead of the Lords way. How easy it is to be prideful and attempt to follow ones own path without yielding to the promptings of God. I look back on my life however, and see that the Lord will let me go off on whatever I want to, because He respects my agency. After a time (sooner or later) He cuts me down, or I go through a very humbling experience or trial. The beauty of it is that after the dust begins to settle, I come to see that God's cutting me down has allowed me to see things as they really are (to a point), which allows me to learn and grow. His cutting me down is in reality Him helping me come to a point of humility where I have the choice to let go of pride. If I do let go, then great blessings begin to flow into my life.


It may be difficult in the humbling situation because of the uncertainty of the future. But God has a pretty good track record as far as I'm concerned. A few examples? I have a big one for you! I ran on for a really long time, ten years in fact. Then, God cut me down (my poor choices are what lead to it, but God nudged enough to awake my soul) and I was as low as low can get. As a result, I came back to church and every aspect of my life has improved for the better. It was really difficult and it took quite a bit of time to get back on the right path. The blessings didn't come to me alone though. I was able to help my sister and parents back to activity as well. Then, I was able to help a friend of mine back to the church, and now he's on a mission sharing the good news as well! My life will forever be changed for the better because God loved me enough to cut me down.

The better way to go however, is to find humility before humility finds us. The Book of Mormon teaches this very plainly in Alma 32:16 "...blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God...without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know..." We can humble ourselves, and in turn save ourselves from the pain that can come from compelled humility.

Thank you kindly, Mr. Cash, for reminding me of the blessings that can flow from God cutting us down. I am trying to be a little more humble each day by looking to the example of our Savior.
 

Looking Beyond the Blue

I love the power that good wholesome music has to assist me in introspection and conveying my feelings, because it's a fact: I seriously lack effective communication skills. Here's some lyrics of a song that's been helping me out lately. It's called 'Beyond the Blue' by Josh Garrels.

And wisdom will honor everyone who will learn
To listen, to love, and to pray and discern  

We all go through times of trial. I for one bring most, if not all of my trials upon myself. But we can always learn from the opposition in our lives. There is something to be gained with each difficulty we face. If we are prayerful and open to God's understanding, He will give it to us. We will learn and grow.

And to do the right thing even when it burns
And to live in the light through treacherous turns 

 Doing the right thing, even when it burns. Who wants that?!? This could apply to so much, but for me, this has been speaking of forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness from Heavenly Father and from those I have wronged. But also imparting forgiveness to those who have hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally. Fortunately, the Lord has helped me to truly forgive all that have hurt me. It's not to just do the right thing on occasion though, but to turn to Jesus Christ and His example with every treacherous turn we face.

A man is weak, but the spirit yearns
To keep on course from the bow to the stearn
And throw overboard every selfish concern
That tries to work for what can’t be earned 

Yes, I am a very weak man. My weaknesses continue to be more and more apparent with each passing day. They strive to distract me and get me off course. I am amazed at how quickly God comes in, shows me my weaknesses, helps me to see the mistakes I have made, the problems I have caused, and gives me the chance to repent. He helps me to throw away every selfish, and self-centered thought. He helps me to get my desires in line, and gets me on track.

Sometimes the only way to return is to go,
Where the winds will take you 

I get myself in some pretty sticky predicaments. I distance myself from God with each mistake I make. Then, I try to fix things the way I want them to be fixed, not the way God has presented. The only way to get back closer to God is to submit to His power. It's to submit to His love. It's to go wherever He will take me and to do whatever He asks me to do, no matter how difficult it may be.

Jesus Christ, the Hope beyond the blue

And to let go, of all, you cannot hold onto
For the hope, beyond,the blue

 

In any situation we find ourselves in, we have the option to get better, or drag things out. We can analyze and dwell on things that have hurt. We can rationalize our behavior and justify our sins. On the other hand, we can honor wisdom, and learn. We do this by choosing the path of repentance, forgiveness, and hope for a brighter day. We can seek forgiveness from God, we can seek forgiveness from those we have harmed, and we can forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made. We can let go of the damage of the past, and move on. We can move closer to the Son, who is beckoning us from beyond the blue.

Don't You Quit!!!

Sometimes, life is tough. No, it's a lot more than tough. In fact, I often times get slapped so hard upside the head that I don't know which direction is up anymore! Albeit, I bring most if not all of my trials and difficulties upon myself through impatience, pride, and selfishness. Regardless of how opposition comes into our lives, what are we to do? When the burdens of life, with all it's twists and turns become more than we can handle, how do we keep from crashing? I testify that "for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, there are better days and good things to come."

 

No matter what our problems may be, it is the Savior and His teachings, the Gospel, that will help us the most. If we will learn to "trust in the Lord with all (our) heart(s); and lean not unto (our) own understanding..." the Lord will "direct (our) paths for good."(Proverbs 3:5-6) It may be difficult, but we must never quit or give in. I know from experience that there are better days and good things to come as I continually embrace the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm able to learn, even if it's slowly, to let go of impatience, selfishness, and pride. Great things lie in store for you as well! So embrace it and be happy!

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